Well, I have been the mother of three children for 26 days now, and here's my conclusion:Three children wouldn't be so hard if you didn't have the other two.
As you can see above, Sam and Mia LOVE their new brother... in different ways.
Sam adores him. He keeps saying that he never wants Eli to grow up because he's so cute how he is. He even said during his dinnertime prayer the other night, "...and please help the food to help us to grow up healthy and strong... except Eli, bless him to never grow up." He loves holding him and glory of all glories, I can actually trust him to hold him! So he gets lots of snuggle time with Eli. One thing he does that drives me a little crazy is his repetitive, "hewwo baby, hewwo baby" over and over. But hey, Eli will survive that... now for his sisters affections... not so sure.
Mia was OK with the baby right when he first came home. Now that he's not so novel it's a different story. She's realized she can manipulate me by doing things to the baby. Like... stepping on him.
M:"I stepped on the baby mommy."
Me:"What? Why!"
M: " He didn't cry."
M: "Look Mama, I moved the baby. It wasn't hard." (she moved him across the room somehow, glad I didn't witness it.)
She's also swatted him a few times and likes to look for his soft spot. Yikes. What am I going to do with this girl?
As for Eli, he's a good little guy. He has his fussy times, but I am not going to complain. I can tell he's a sweet little person already. His one problem is pooping all over himself and others. If I were to compare him to a type of volcano he would be a cinder cone volcano (gaseous, explosive eruptions) more than a shield volcano (nice, gentle lava flows). He keeps our washer running, that's for sure.
As for me, I am doing pretty well. Thanks to awesome friends who have been bringing me meals off and on for the last two weeks- life has been pretty manageable most of the time. Not to say my house is anywhere near clean, but hey. I am also incredibly grateful for SPRING! We've had such great weather for the last few weeks that I can't stay pent up in my house-- it forces me to go outside- and you know what, I survived out there in the big world with 3 kids all by myself a few times. So we are gradually moving forward and adjusting.
So anyone have any advice for keeping siblings from mauling the baby, or finding a balance in having positive interaction between siblings instead of saying "don't touch him, don't breath on him, don't wipe that on him, don't lick his forehead, don't pull off his arms, don't wake him up, etc..." all the time?
7 comments:
Seriously, I feel your pain. I have compared william to Lenny from "Of Mice and Men" many times. At my 1st doc. apt she asked me who william was taking the adjustment out on, Me or the baby! Definitely me, Looks like Mia might be going for the baby! Good luck with that!
Oh my gosh. I seriously must be purely evil because I am still laughing! I really love you. You are doing a great job. All three kids will live through this and in a couple years when I am complaining about having four then you'll laugh at me. It really is just the first 2 or 3 months that is was like this for us. By then the other two gotused to having baby around and the annoying baby talk slowed down and the subtle violence definitely slowed down. You are one of the best moms I know. You know how to best handle your kids. Whenever I am wondering about that kind of stuff, I just think of that scripture that says something like "firmly reprimand then afterwards show an increase of love." Something like that. You have to discipline her, but you don't have to do it in a way that makes her resent you. And that's just not like you anyway. It's a rough time and the adjustment takes a while, but you're getting there one day at a time. Sorry to laugh. It is just SO SO SO much like what I experienced that it comes across humorous to me. :) I love you.
I can't believe how many Barlow features he has. He is absolutely beautiful! And the pictures your sis-in-law took are precious.
Congrats to your family! Elijah is beautiful. It is so great that Sam is big and helpful. That is interesting about a three year old trying to show helpfulness and gives me a good insight. Again, so happy about the update and keep enjoying the warmer weather!
Congratulations - he's adorable! I don't know how helpful this is, but Ava had the same problem when Lilly was born. I eventually decided to let her maul the baby...well, at least when I was there to supervise and make sure she wasn't going to kill her. Once she saw that I was relaxed about the whole thing she lost interest. Good luck!
p.s. I love those pictures your sister took.
Mia is taking the same path as Gena did with Poppy. I ended up showering with Poppy in the bouncy seat in the bathroom and Gena locked out. Does that help?
So glad you feel sane enough to post again!
Your baby is beautiful! Hang in there - it will get easier. So fun! I loved having three - it was a magic number for me. Good luck!
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