*what the swiss did to me*

Living in Switzerland, quite frankly, changes a person. No matter how long you live there. I have been back in the US for a good 8 months now- and I am still recovering from culture shock.

This post by my friend Erin is a great example of how life in CH (Switzerland) as an American can be rough sometimes.

So these are the things I think about 8 months later:
1. I still drive down the road and think that random gray electrical boxes are photo-cops and instinctively slam on my brakes. It will forever be ingrained in me to be subconsciously looking for gray boxes that will take my picture and then take my money.

2. I am always afraid of getting yelled at for doing something wrong. It's true. I was ALWAYS reprimanded for something I was doing wrong in Switzerland. Like the time I put my feet on the seat across from me on the train and a plainclothes train policeman tried to fine me 25 francs for doing it! I pretty much got yelled at everyday. So sometimes, when I am driving the wrong way (against the painted arrow on the road) in the Walmart parking lot I get worried that someone is going to start shaking a finger at me or run after my car and force me to give them money.

3. I feel guilty when I don't recycle. The Swiss people recycle just about everything. EVERYTHING. They don't waste. I wouldn't be surprised if they recycle old dentures or something. They also have garbage police... serious.

4. I am stuck with "old car" syndrome. In Switzerland you pretty much can't own a car less than 10 years old. Period. The tests that they run are so strict that it's less expensive to buy a new car than to keep your "old" one. Seriously. So now I drive around thinking, "our car is kind of a clunker."

5. Our forests look unkempt. The Swiss even keep their forests neat and tidy. Thus all the firewood stacks everywhere-- even in the middle of the woods they have random woodpiles. I didn't realize how neat they kept it til I noticed the forest here... how embarrassing! It looks like the forgotten jungle!

6. Why are American kids so physically challenged? Most children in Switzerland, and Europe in general can ride a bike (without training wheels- they don't have those) ski and swim independently by the age of 4. I pretty much had one of our neighbors ask me why I let Sam, who was 3 at the time, ride in the stroller. She recommended that I have him learn how to walk and build stamina, and also informed me that her daughter, who is one year older, can climb for X amount of kilometers for X amount of hours in the nearest mountain range. At the time I was a little offended, but as I started thinking about it I realized she was right. Why do we let our children learn how to ride with training wheels, and then have them re-learn to ride bikes without them? Why do we let them swim with floaties, and then, again, have them re-learn without them? If you were wondering, here is the type of bike most Euro kids learn to ride on.

7. Why we are fat. Well, see number 6. Then see #8. Then think about how LARGE the "small" combo is at your favorite fast food joint is. I still get a little flabbergasted when they hand me the "medium" size drink and it won't fit in the cup holder in my car. I still love ice in my drink though.

8. Bulk. I am ruined for life. I go to Costco and have a hard time buying things in bulk! I think to myself, how can we ever eat 15 boxes of macaroni and cheese? How can we ever eat 8 lbs of chicken nuggets? How can we ever eat...you name it. So I end up paying 2x the price at the regular grocery store just so that I don't have to buy so much of it all at once. Somehow I don't have a problem getting out of Costco with a $200 dent in my pocket though. How does that happen?

9. Why do we use so many grocery bags? Those Walmart checkers are the worst! They'll put 2 items in each bag and you come home with 20 different bags when they could have used 6. I'll admit, I am not good at bringing my own bags to the store, but hey, give the plastic trees a break people!

10. How does our produce stay "good" for so long? Seriously. Produce in Switzerland lasted about a week. And the meat and the milk tasted so "fresh" that I had a hard time eating it for a while. I am still wondering about the organic lettuce in my fridge that is still "good" and it has been a good 3 weeks since I bought it. hmmm...

11. Our poor cart people. My friend Erin mentioned how the cart system works there. Though sometimes a pain if you don't have a coin, it's ingenious. You put the coin in and it releases the cart. You put the cart back and it releases the coin. No poor cart runners fetching carts that lazy folk leave all over the parking lot.

12. I hate left lane cruisers. Why can't people just follow the rules of the road and show consideration to other drivers? It can be done... I've seen it in action. And now, it really bugs me.

13. Litigation makes life in America suck. So does crime. We have to be scared of our own shadow and it's sad.

14. I still get panicked if I don't have cash in my wallet. In Switzerland you pretty much have to have at least 100 francs in your pocket "just in case". Many places don't take credit. One time Jared and I went to a restaurant and realized after we had eaten our meal that they didn't take credit cards. Somehow we scrounged 50 francs in COINS between the two of us to pay for the meal. I still feel a sense of gratification when I pay for something that costs $2.16 with a credit card. That's definitely not allowed there-- one of those things you'd get yelled at for. And that takes us back to #2...

So these are the little thoughts that rumble around in my brain sometimes as I walk through this American land of ours and think about my past life as a Swiss... I have lots of past lives you know. But those are stories for another day.